My reaction to seeing the show 'Punk'd' for the first time. No, I didn't think it was remotely funny, especially when Elijah was Punk'd.
Associated Press, May 2, 2006
Punk’d creator and star Ashton Kutcher was hospitalized early Tuesday morning after being attacked outside an LA nightclub. Kutcher, 28, was allegedly struck over the head with a frying pan and knocked unconscious by an unidentified assailant. He is listed in stable condition at Cedars-Sinai Hospital with a severe concussion.
Sources close to master prankster Kutcher claim that the attack was related to the recent ‘punking’ of Lord of the Rings star Frodo Baggins. Mr. Baggins, 6052, was reportedly extremely traumatized by his punking, as seen on MTV Monday night. In the episode, Mr. Baggins, dining out with friends, was served a bowl of soup in which a fake severed finger wearing a gold ring was floating, an apparent reference to his former career as Ringbearer and destroyer of the Dark Lord Sauron. Mr. Baggins is seen on camera crying out, “Sam, there’s a finger in my soup!” before passing out and falling unconscious to the floor.
While details of the attack on Mr. Kutcher are sketchy, a friend who witnessed the incident, but declined to be named, told reporters: “We’d just come out of the club and were waiting for the valet to bring our car when these three small dudes in capes came running up and attacked Kutch. Two of them went for his legs, and tackled him to the ground. They were yelling something that sounded like ‘For Frodo!’ Then the third dude walked right up to Kutch and said, “Nobody punks my master and gets away with it”, took out this big frying pan, and whacked Kutch over the head. Man, let me tell you, whoever that little guy is, he knows his way around a frying pan. Kutch was out like a light. It was frickin’ amazing.”
Kutcher’s wife, actress Demi Moore, 43, issued a statement in which she said that her husband has no plans to file assault charges against the assailants in the event their identities are discovered. “Ashton realizes that Mr. Baggins’s friends were understandably upset by his reaction to being punk’d, and he would like to offer his apologies, and hopes that Mr. Baggins will soon be released from psychiatric care.”
Unidentified sources state that Kutcher has abandoned plans to punk other Lord of the Rings stars, including former Ranger and King of Gondor Aragorn, and Dwarf Gimli, son of Glòin. While some of Kutcher’s friends are critical of this decision, others support it. “I mean, would you punk a Dwarf?” asked one anonymous source. Elf Legolas of Mirkwood, however, is still apparently a candidate for punking. “Even the other members of the Fellowship want to see Leggy punk’d,” said the anonymous source, “and, while Kutch would kill me if I gave the prank away, I can tell you it has something to do with the poncy Elf’s hair.”
Police are still searching for clues to the identities of the alleged assailants, and anyone with any information should call their toll free hotline at 1-800-555-1212.